La douleur exquise
by soshi185
Summary: Hibari Kyoya liked small animals and children, disliked illusionists and Mukuro Rokudo, and didn't know how to feel about Chrome Dokuro.


There was mist on the ground that morning. Hibari left the Vongola mansion at dawn, when the rising sun turned it into smoke, covering the venerable garden and burning the shadows of trees. He rubbed his hands, breathed on them. Spring in Japan was cooler than the Italian spring; the early air was pricking his throat like a needle.

It's been a long time since he visited his home country, and if Hibari Kyoya hated something, it was staying far from home. It annoyed him that the Japanese base of Vongola was not in Namimori, but on a small islet, three-hour away from the city. That little animal – Tsunayoshi Sawada – claimed that he has already taken the necessary measures and worked on the main base in the Namimori underground. Hibari was not going to wait for him. The entrance from the temple side was almost finished...

The sound came before the sight. Hibari heard a rustle, as if leaves played on a forest flute, and the tonfas appeared in his hands before he turned around. He raised his head. Before him, at the end of the path, was an oak, large and majestic, perhaps planted here many years ago, when Giotto had decided to build the hidden house on the distant island. Hibari caught sight of the larks nesting in the crown of the tree, now flying up and crossing the sky, following traces of the early sun rays.

In the shadow of the branches stood a girl dressed in a white dress and a crown of fog. She greeted him with a careful nod, nothing more than a mirage. He blinked. Her… Hibari slightly lowered his weapon, but didn't hide it. He was sure it was not the bird that got his attention.

"It's you."

Not a greeting. Not a warning either.

"Good morning, mister cloud. Are you in Japan?"

"As you can see," Hibari muttered. Belatedly he heard irritation in his own voice. It was better to keep an indifferent face.

Chrome Dokuro didn't notice or didn't care. She nodded and looked back at the oak. The tree made a tower-like vault above her head, and the pearls of light shining through the leaves glistened on the black hair like a diadem. She stood on her toes – only now Hibari noticed that she was barefoot – as if to rise higher. Mist embraced her ankles.

The remote islands of Japan weren't like crowded Namimori: they were vaster and greener and wilder. The flawless background for illusionists, and that was one of many reasons Hibari hated this place.

Chrome ignored him. Hibari liked that. He was going to turn back, go his own way, but intuition and some other invisible force clenched their fingers on his shoulder and held him. The oak... It was unlikely for that girl to notice something that Hibari might have overlooked, but mindfulness of her gaze kept him in place.

"What did you find out there?" Hibari finally asked, taking a step toward her.

She stayed silent. He saw thoughts crossing her unnaturally pale face and he couldn't give them any meaning. Hibari never bothered to read emotions so it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but suddenly he felt a twinge of irritation. Though he wasn't sure, he thought that fear reflected among many emotions. The idea that Chrome Dokuro could live with Mukuro Rokudo but be afraid of him was ridiculous.

"If something happened, you can tell Sawada," Hibari said, burying the tonfas inside of his jacket.

"Nothing happened," Chrome finally answered. "There is an injured bird on the tree."

Hibari stopped next to her, stepping on the damp grass. From this distance he could see Chrome clearly, every line of her face illuminated by gray and green, and the Vongola's mansion retreated behind the curtain of fog. "An injured bird? Hmmm... Maybe illusions play with your eyes?"

Chrome's mouth narrowed but she raised her chin and looked him right in the eyes. "Don't mock illusion, please, mister cloud. You don't know what you are talking about."

"I don't care about your sorcery, that's all."

"Things are not always what they seem. If you keep holding you head high, one day you may be hurt by what you can't touch."

"It sounds almost like a threat." He showed her a defiant smile. "I'll step on everything that stands in my way. Illusions or not."

Chrome sighed.

"I saw it with my own eyes..." she said, back to the point. "When other birds flew away, that one flapped its wings in a strange way and stayed on the branch. I was afraid it might fall... so I waited. But it probably doesn't have enough courage to fly. It's still there."

Hibari frowned. "So what? It has nothing to do with you."

"It will fall. And then it will die," Chrome said, staring at the roots sticking out from the ground. Her voice came from afar, as if from below, from the grave, from under this ground.

Suddenly, the memory came to Hibari; he didn't even realize the trace of conversation was hidden in his mind but there he was, looking out the window of the large, cigars-soaked library in the Italian base of Vongola. The corridor became a raucous coliseum; last months were calm, extremely calm, and Varia arrived to discuss with the new boss, because that was what you did in the times of peace. Sawada closed the door and breathed a little easier.

"I know that you hate Mukuro Rokudo but he is not that bad..." he fell silent, meeting Hibari's gaze, but apparently fought with the urge to step back as he continued. Hibari admitted to himself that he was quite impressed. The little animal was growing claws. "He helped us many times..."

"He helped you. I have my own score to settle with him."

"Besides," Sawada interjected dauntless, "he saved Chrome's life when she tried to protect a cat. I can't forget about it."

"You are weak, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

Sawada's face shone as he shrugged.

Now Chrome fastened her eye on Hibari, watching him with vigilance of a wild cat. His attention involuntarily went to the eye patch, hiding the empty eye socket. It was black as night. The material was adorned by a simple pattern with silvering stars. He had the impression that once it had looked differently.

"You like animals," he remarked stiffly, though he was going to ask her a question.

"I... I'm not sure," Chrome replied. There was a small silence. Then Chrome flipped her hair back and stepped into the spot of light flowing down between the branches. Her face was barely a line sinking in the morning. "I'm afraid of animals. I usually don't know what to do with them, and animals don't like me." Hibari heard a smile in her voice. „But I think animals are much better than humans; they are simple, faithful and more vulnerable, even if they have fangs and claws. So… I like them. I think I like them."

She turned to him, her face lit from the inside, and Hibari was surprised and unexpectedly pleased with her response. He had to squint a little because the bright dress and white skin reflected sun like canvas.

"You also like animals, mister cloud," said Chrome. "I always see you with this little canary on your shoulder. You tamed it yourself?"

"Yes," Hibari answered simply.

"I've never had a pet. When I was younger, I couldn't have one, and later I got the owl… my Box Weapon, but it wasn't the real bird so it probably doesn't count, right? I didn't tame it, all weapons are programmed to react to their flames... And that owl wasn't really mine, it belonged to Mukuro-sama. Now _Gufo della Nebia_ has returned to Mukuro-sama, I don't see it often..."

She stopped abruptly.

"Box Weapons are not objects," Hibari said slowly. He had spent years studying them and in fact nothing was stopping him from sharing this knowledge. "They were created by combining animal DNA and the power of flames. Each weapon has a character and temperament like a real animal. It's not so easy to tame them. If the owl was obedient to you, the reason lies in you, not in the type of flames."

His answer surprised her. Chrome's eye widened as she lowered her head.

"It was nice of you, mister cloud," she murmured in a low voice, and Hibari noticed she emphasized 'nice'.

He looked at her again, carefully. Suddenly, Chrome wasn't an illusionist; inside the shadow of the huge tree she seemed smaller, inconspicuous, like a chased animal. A skylark or an owl with a broken wing. Mist and wind rustling in the green were no longer in her control – now the garden was closing around her, eating her alive. Hibari also felt the air pressing on him.

He moved closer and handed Chrome his jacket. "Hold this."

Chrome raised her eyebrows. "What are you doing, mister cloud? I'm not cold."

He didn't answer, but grabbed the branch bending towards the ground and easily hoisted himself up. For a moment he was still, hooking his knees around the branch. It seemed solid. Hibari had spent his youth sleeping on the school roof or courtyard, and climbing remained in the memory of his muscles. After a while, the highest foliage covered him. Chrome was staring at him with her mouth slightly open.

"Be careful!" she cried, not knowing if Hibari could hear her.

Ridiculous. As if Hibari would listen to that girl's orders.

From this height, Chrome was even smaller. She could have been a girl lost in the forest, not a mafia illusionist chained to Mukuro Rokudo. When she tilted her head back to find him among the leaves, the morning sun sparkled in her hair, changing its color from black to purple. Hibari was looking at her for a long moment before he returned to the wounded lark. For some reason he hoped that Chrome was wrong, that he wouldn't find anything. But it was there, a pile of brown feathers hiding at the end of the branch, trembling and tweeting miserably. Hibari took the bird in his hand, careful not to squeeze its wings, caught the tree-limb, and swung to the ground. Chrome almost jumped.

"I thought you fell..." she said.

Hibari snorted. "Nonsense. I'm not a weakling who would be beaten by something like that."

"The tree is tall, the earth is hard. It's a good opponent. And broken bones aren't a sign of weakness..."

"Be quiet or I'll break _your_ bones."

"I'm sorry," Chrome said, but a half-smile blossomed on her lips.

Hibari reached out and without a word let her see the lark. If Chrome was surprised, now she didn't show it. She leaned to look closer. The little bird fidgeted, trying to escape from Hibari's grip, and its head was spinning like a spring, to the right and to the left. Hibari petted the animal with the tip of his finger, he was stroking the soft feathers until the lark calmed down, only then gave it to Chrome.

"Careful," he admonished her. "If it's really wounded, you'll have to feed it for some time. Give it warmth. Try to put it on your open palm so when the right time comes, the bird can fly away."

Chrome nodded. "And if it's grateful for help and want stay with me forever?"

"Then you'll be responsible for it. But this doesn't happen often in nature."

She laughed openly for the first time. "I know. Nature is strange."

For an instant, her glance darted to the trees overhead. Hibari followed her eye, but there was nothing there. Only leaves, and the sky above them. An unpleasant feeling crept down Hibari's spine. He could count all the stars on her eye patch. It seemed that mist created an illusion of undercut wings on her back.

"You are a nice person, mister cloud."

"You are a weak animal, Chrome Dokuro."

She smiled at him, more a child than an adult woman.

Hibari believed there were two kinds of weaknesses in this world: those who were weakened by pride and got the right lesson from him, or those who knew about their weaknesses, like children and animals, and who should avoid fighting at all costs. Now he was looking at Chrome Dokuro and couldn't judge where she belonged to.

"Where are you taking it?" asked Hibari before the girl disappeared from his sight. She seemed surprised. "To Mukuro-sama, of course."

And she vanished into thin air.

That night, Hibari lay on the roof of his old school, shivering from the spring night, and couldn't sleep. If anyone would blemish that drop of innocence which remained in Dokuro Chrome, it was Mukuro Rokudo.

* * *

Some time later, Hibari passed Chrome in the corridor. The girl was standing by the open window. He didn't pay much attention when Chrome once again greeted him with a silent nod. And a smile.

Stubborn and proud, he met her eye and refused to look away.

* * *

A white-cold day in January saw Hibari making his way to the Vongola headquarters, trying not to slip on the frost-bound ground. Ironic, but even someone like him had to be cautious or he would end up with broken legs. Suddenly he remembered the words Chrome once had said to him. _The earth is hard, broken bones aren't a sign of weakness…_ was it? He smiled under his breath. Hard frost hit them without notice, it was snowing until the whiteness became thick like resin. The small island was even colder, and the sky seemed to be bigger when it merged with the freezing sea.

"The new base is almost ready," Sawada had announced last week when he had appeared at Hibari's temple. "I'm working on the last security devices. We should move on before the spring. There will be rooms for you too."

Hibari had no intention of asking Sawada for anything.

The snow was shining in the sun. As Hibari came at the gate, he thought he heard a cry and something blew out the sheet of snow. When he turned his head, he saw a flash of black.

A small, ruffled cat was running near the fence.

It huffed when it felt Hibari's gaze, but it didn't move. The cat sat stiffly, throwing snow from side to side with its tail. The intense gold eyes seemed to shine over the white and gray and winter. After a few seconds of observation, Hibari crouched beside, reached out and called the cat.

"Come here," he whispered. Needles of frost pricked his fingers and Hibari grinned. The cat would freeze to death if it stayed there overnight. It was obvious.

The cat stretched lazily, its claws sinking deep into the snow featherbed. It was stubborn. But Hibari was more stubborn. Finally, the cat cocked its head and moved towards him.

Then Hibari saw her. She appeared out of nowhere, leaving marks of heels in the snow. The light glanced violet off the black hair, some strands sticking to her mouth when she exhaled clouds of air. She gave Hibari a hard stare before turning to the cat.

"Cage," Chrome said. Her voice was as cold as the winter wind.

The trident flashed in her hand, though Hibari didn't see her grabbing it. He has witnessed it many times before, and yet each time he needed a precious second to get used to it; the trident's blade slivered in the cool midday glow, Chrome clenched her fingers on the weapon. In the space of a blink, that silver lengthened and became a cage closing around the cat. The animal groaned keenly, crying like a child lost in a snowstorm, and began to scratch the rods.

Chrome strengthened her grip. "You will not leave. Nobody will go through my barrier."

Hibari felt blood rushing in his veins, looked at the trident, the same trident that Mukuro Rokudo used, and rage boiled up inside him. In a second the tonfas appeared in his hands and shot in Chrome's direction.

"What are you doing?" he growled quietly.

The girl twitched, but she didn't back away.

"I'm saving your life, mister cloud," she said almost indifferent. "I've put a barrier on this place. I feel every trace of flame if it tries to slip past me."

"A trace of flame..."

Chrome nodded. "Mukuro-sama calls it _chikushōdō_ , although he rarely uses it and limits it to poisonous snakes."

Without much thought, Hibari pounced on her and grabbed her forearm. Chrome jerked, trying to get her weapon between them, but Hibari held her in place, almost effortlessly. He squeezed her harder. No matter how perfectly Mukuro Rokudo trained her in martial arts, in terms of pure strength she was still weaker.

"You put barriers around this house? On your own? What are you exactly doing, Chrome Dokuro?"

"I tried to save you!" Her tone trembled with impatience. "And Boss asked me for the barrier. You don't trust me?"

Hibari didn't answer. He had no trust in barriers, in mist, in everything he couldn't see and couldn't hit, in his own voice.

Chrome continued. "This cat is under the mystic's control and was sent to spy us. Someone is watching the mansion with its eyes. This is a dangerous technique because it leaves very little to no trail of flame and it's difficult to detect. No wonder you didn't notice... Seeing through the mist flame usually comes down to intuition. I think I wouldn't react so quickly if it's not for my barrier."

Hibari broke the touch, pushing Chrome slightly, but she stood firmly on her feet. Though her expression became milder, the sharp edge of her trident was aimed at him.

"I didn't need help," Hibari hissed. "You're getting in my way. Step back or I'll beat you to death."

"Mukuro-sama taught me..."

"Go away."

Chrome hesitated. She tapped the trident onto the ground and Hibari felt the vibrations of power skimming under his feet. Something clicked in front of him, as if it locked the cage, although the cage had no door in the first place. The metal seemed more solid now, the blinding afternoon gave it a moon-silver luster. Chrome, pleased with her work, faced Hibari. To his surprise, and perhaps to hers, Chrome's face was filled with sadness that smoothed her sharp expression. A moment ago she looked like an illusionist. Now Hibari saw compassion. Pity.

"You are so proud, mister cloud," she said. "Don't you understand that you could do it yourself if you wanted to learn?"

He made as though to fight her, lifting up his tonfa with one hand. She reached forward and seized it, clenching her fingers on the cold weapon. Hibari was close. He saw her fingers quivering.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said sharply, eyeing her. "Do not compare me to people like _him_."

"You have the mist flame inside you, mister cloud. I feel it. If you want, I can teach you..."

"Shut up. I won't play with you, let alone learn cheap and dirty tricks." Hibari stepped back, his feet sliding on the snow and ice. Her hand, now empty, hung in the air. When that girl pointed her distant, absent gaze to him, Hibari remembered why he hated illusionists.

"They're not tricks," she said with reproach. "It's a form of fight. One of many. Boss appreciates it."

"I don't care about Sawada's opinion. As if that weakling had a say. And I'm not going to hide behind lies or run away. "

"Illusion is not a lie! It's taking control over flames, just like you do with the cloud. Mukuro-sama says that we are less attached to shapes and images. If we want something to become something else, it happens and the world sees it as we do."

"I don't have time for your nonsense." He turned without checking if she followed him, not caring about it. Her heels didn't make any noise on the snow, she could as well levitate or disappear. Like a ghost. Hibari didn't even feel her presence.

"It is dangerous to expose yourself to illusions." She tried again. "It's a powerful weapon for people like Mukuro-sama. You should study at least the basics, or else you may fall into the illusionist's trap..."

Without thinking, Hibari turned and hit. The girl dodged, her eye widening with surprise, her cheeks pink with cold and emotion.

"Do you really think you're in a position to teach me?" Hibari asked with a mocking smile. "And what if Mukuro Rokudo wanted to set a trap? You would upset your master, Rokudo's puppy."

"I... I'm not his..." She sounded as if she swallowed tears.

So Hibari attacked again —a quick movement, the tonfa lowering down. Chrome buckled under his blow, blocking him with a trident. A drop of sweat trickled down her temple, glistening like a diamond in the snowy light. Suddenly Hibari noticed something behind her – the shadow seemed to swell as though it would break free. Its long fingers smoothed over Chrome's calves.

Hibari felt chills on his skin, the tonfa handle became hot in his hand. Was it an illusion or an emotion? – he couldn't choose. He only knew that fiery push. When he aimed the tonfa at her arm and tried to knock the weapon out of her hand, the shadow rose up in a quiet fury, snarled and blocked him. Hibari tried to break through it, but this thing was harder than ice in the heart of winter. Chrome spun around the shadow and increased the distance, her white dress – the same she wore in the spring – whirling around her knees like a snowflake.

He hit the ghost. Unsuccessfully. Chrome twirled the trident.

Hibari never saw her like that. Accompanied by the Guardians, she was quiet and distanced, almost unnoticeable, all eye and bones and fears. But alone, with the trident in her hand and the illusion at her side, she was beautiful like the moon in a starless night or a white owl under the black sky. Chrome was breathing lightly, her feet soundless.

He forced his face to coldness. Hibari thought about the lark and the spring morning, the bare feet and the pale hands. She had smiled like a child; her face had shone as she gently touched the bird. Now the girl was shining too – and it was Mukuro Rokudo who wrested that night light from her. Hibari didn't want to see the beauty of the gaze wandering towards what he couldn't see, high cheekbones casting an unpleasant shade on her face and the onyx shadow sneaking between her feet. Chrome Dokuro lived between demons and murderers and dared to say she'd his life.

His hand was burning on the tonfa where she put her fingers before.

Hibari remembered: both the girl who had been too embarrassed to leave her room in the underground base and the girl who had kissed Sawada with no embarrassment during their first meeting. Many faces, many illusions.

"Why are you fighting me, mister cloud?" she asked, her tone delicate like a child's, with a hint of defense. "Why are you so angry? I want to help you. You hate me, right?"

Hibari was silent. He couldn't answer; he was using the language of fight, and he always managed to change his feelings into it. And now he didn't know what to think and what to feel, and he just wanted to play, to fight and see what it would lead to.

He prepared, then in one leap passed the shadow that spread its fading arms but failed to stop him. Chrome saw his pace; she tried to dodge, but she was too close. His hand shot out: a clear blow knocked the girl off her feet. She didn't even scream when she fell in the snow, dark hair spilled around her like ink. Hibari leaned over and held the tonfa at her throat.

"Never praise Mukuro Rokudo in my presence, girl."

Chrome struggled. The sun peeking out from behind the clouds brought out the flecks of lilac in her eye. His glance strayed to the eye patch, then to the white neck where bruises would probably appear later.

"I won't let you insult Mukuro-sama in my presence," Chrome said, biting her lip.

He wanted to hit her, but he held his breath and refrained. Abusing a defeated girl, especially as fragile as she, would be derogatory, not like him. He wanted to leave her like that, silence her, correct her, he did not know what he wanted or why Chrome using her illusions infuriated him. Finally Hibari freed her.

"You are stupid and blind. I don't have time for you." He hid the tonfas under his jacket.

Chrome was still lying on the ground, stared at the sky like in the spring, but now her fingers sank in the snow. The silence stretched out between them. And Hibari didn't leave.

"I know there's conflict between you and him. Mukuro-sama never told me what happened, but I know you hate him," she said. "I don't want to interfere or change your mind, mister cloud. But I love Mukuro-sama. He saved my life. And I will never pay back this debt."

It surprised him that Mukuro Rokudo never told her about their first fight. On the other hand, who was she? Did Mukuro share everything with her? He probably only fed her with what she wanted to hear.

"He is a bad guy and I'm going to kill him."

She smiled so gently that it could be as well a trick of light.

"Maybe you're right. But look at us. Who didn't do terrible things?"

She rose on her elbows, stood up. Her legs trembled more than Hibari expected, and he was angry with himself. Weak, so weak, a bird with broken wings. It was as if illusions enveloped her and sneaked into Hibari's heart to change what he felt for her.

And maybe, if Mukuro Rokudo hadn't been there, she would have spread wings.

"Mukuro-sama... is everything I have. So if it annoys you, I won't come any closer... or propose such things... I'm sorry, mister cloud."

A dull feeling flashed through Hibari's chest. His hands instinctively reached for the tonfas.

"You let your hair down."

"What?"

"You used to have your hair up."

Chrome gave him a puzzled look. It was clean – Hibari decided to remember that face, and wished to save her as pure as she was now. It took a moment for understanding to appear in her eye, but she didn't add anything.

He retreated to the gate and didn't turn back.

* * *

Hibari was leaving the office when Sawada called him. If his tone was commanding, Hibari would probably slam the door. But as it was – calm and cozy, almost nostalgic – he just cursed himself when he stopped.

"Mukuro disappeared. I can't get in contact with them since last month," Sawada explained slowly. "It seems that they left Japan. I don't want you to look for them, but when you're in Italy, pay attention to _everything_ , okay?"

"What kind of boss you are, Sawada?" Hibari sneered, tapping on the door frame. "You don't know where your people are?"

"I always tell you that you're not my property. Do whatever you want, even leave me." His laugh was soft and somewhat imperious.

 _They. Them._ Hibari didn't know what Sawada read in his face, but he frowned and nodded. It annoyed him.

"Will you do it for me?"

"Yes," Hibari murmured. He didn't care if Sawada heard him.

He saw all at once, as clearly as he had seen Chrome under the tree on that spring morning: a white bird, undercut feathers, the innocence chained up. Although he didn't expect it, he felt a strange sorrow and shook it away.

Back then she had come out of the mist, her skin shining through the leaves. She never belonged to this world. She was an illusionist.

 _It is for the best,_ was on the tip of Hibari's tongue. But he thought about Mukuro Rokudo, about abandoned houses, soaking wet walls, blood. And the infantile gleam in her eye when she had seen the bird.

Mukuro Rokudo would kill her, Hibari understood. Even if Chrome hadn't lost her life, she would have died anyway. And that was her decision.

For her or for him – it will be better for one of them.

The next day, Hibari went to Italy to get his first Mist Ring.

* * *

1) If you think about it, Future Tsuna is a savage. Chrome (and any contact with Mukuro) is missing? Nobody knows where they are? Chill out, what could happen? They'll come back when they're hungry.

2) First Tsuna was going to say that Mukuro isn't that bad if we compare him to other criminals, he does bad things within limits, but I decided that it destroys my serious atmosphere. Just so you know.


End file.
